Saturday, November 10, 2012


Emotions are practically rolling over me the past few days as 5 people have been in constant interaction with me and all of them form a big part of what I currently feel. Now, I am lost or let's put it into better perspective - lost further.

Being a brother now does not solely relate to relations by blood. Brotherhood now is defined by utter great bond and friendship wherein both parties understand each other and be there always on a non-filial way. Plainly platonic or is it? Maybe it is just a sort of way to hide the real emotions. Or it could be just really a bro. Likeable in most ways but complicated in quite a lot. Puzzled truly I am as sometimes the thin line between brotherhood and romance just seems to vanish into thin air.

From the first time my eyes laid witness to the person, it was plain and utter bliss. Maybe because of the aesthetics - physical attributes that are above par in compared to others. The emotion being felt is much more than a brother but the seemingly good features usually puts one to question if I am for the company only or for the bragging rights of having someone as a trophy. And while clarity as to whether the crush does jump into the "another level" scenario is still vague, the idea of seeing everyday brings utter joy.

A friend really? Or someone waiting for the right time to snag into the situation. The conflicts and complexities make it more mind-buggling. What is the boundary between friendship and relationship? I really don't know. The person being in a current relationship makes me think of the intentions but sometimes the doubts and all are just thrown outside the window. Friendship really or maybe I'm wanting so much more?

Lust - the plain drive for worldly desires makes me connect with this 4th person. I find joy in exploring territories I have not explored without worrying what happens. Enjoyment and pleasure is the name of the game but as each day pass by, is it really something that could not be developed into something more? But can something that started out from the idea of sex turn into a wonderful fairytale lovestory?

Smile in its purest form is what is elicited for every conversation, for every note, for every look and every touch. This may be love or is it? Can i just be trapped into believing that someone could actually give back the emotions I am giving out? Ever since that day when the initial meet-up happened, all I could think of is sharing my life with thy person. Cheesy but true. If falling in love is such a crime then charge me with a million counts.

5 different people... bringing spice, conflict and drama.
I need a break...

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