A Blessing or a Curse?
A Blessing or a Curse?
Ventricular tachycardia is a heart condition characterized by fast heartbeat caused by irregular tissues which formed in the heart. These arrhythmia tissues cause the heart to beat fast and irregular. A normal heart beats at around 60-90 bpm. One who suffers from ventricular tachycardia has it at 100-400 bpm. During that time mine was beating at 150-160 bpm. The doctor said that it has no cure but there are ways to alleviate the effects of the condition.
It was for more than 2 years that I have it in me. But during the initial stages no one even noticed. I guess I managed to keep the smiles despite my condition. Each and every day was an utter challenge to survive. There are times I had difficulty breathing. Times were also there that I experience severe chest pain. Shocking as it may seem, I also experienced profuse bleeding – yup profuse as in overflowing of blood coming out of my nose, my mouth and sometimes even I poop. There were a lot of medications, endless tests, injections. How hard can it be? I thought that was only it but it was only the beginning.
Then came the news that I am only to live for 2 more years. My mind crashed as my body started deteriorating. My health was slowly degrading and my strength slowly fading. I had to give up a lot of things from my job, my luxuries and a whole lot of stuff. On the process, I lost a lot as well – FINANCES, CAREER, DREAMS, SOME FRIENDS, LUXURIES and the STRENGTH TO SURVIVE. There were times that I question HIM for giving me this. I felt that it was a whole lot of burden and I even came close to giving up. There were days when I felt that living is difficult and even blinking, seeing and breathing life is hard. Tears are my constant companion and hurt is my regular friend.
During those times, I seek refuge. And there I saw that not all were lost. I found the value of the things that were left – the things that never parted. My family was there through it all. My true friends stuck with me in the midst of all troubles. I found strength once again by renewing my faith in HIM. From there I rediscovered the language of hope and love. And that I must go on and live my life.
I underwent the last series of therapies recently and now slowly recovering. My heart beat is down to a much more stable range of 90-100 bpm. The road to recovery is quite daunting. I know I have a lot to do in able to get back on track. But the good thing is I am given a chance to live a second life. I’m keeping a positive look on life and hoping that things would soon be better. Starting from scratch would be a challenge but after all I have experienced, I am not a fool that’s gonna give up now? Now I see that it was not after all a curse but a blessing to even make me stronger and live a better life.